To Be With You
by ThatCoolKidSpardel
Summary: The Sequel to Tying Loose Ends, which will most likely result in the deflowerization of Clare ;  Also some Fadam will be included! enjoy! R&R plz:
1. Chapter 1

"What do you think?"  
"Whoa, uhm…who are you going to where this for?" Clare asked Alli over the phone as she looked at Alli's facebook picture of her in a very provocative dress.  
She sighed. "Unfortunately no one. But don't I look great?" She gushed and Clare rolled her eyes. Her best friend was so bubbly.  
"You look very…busty." Clare said, giggling.  
"So maybe I put a few enhancers in my bra, where's the harm?" Alli said, laughing. "But just for the record, I'm a C cup all by myself." She bragged and Clare laughed.  
"Good for you." Clare looked down at her own chest. Although she wasn't as well endowed as some other girls at Degrassi, she'd never been that subconscious.  
She smiled to herself, recalling the memory of the picnic where Eli had seen her in just her bra. He'd said she was beautiful. Then again, that bra was padded…  
Clare's thoughts were interrupted by Alli.  
"Well I have to go before my parents disown me." Alli huffed. "Talk to you later."  
"See ya." Clare said, hanging up.  
Only two seconds later she received a text from Eli to come over for dinner. She happily agreed.

-

"Your mother is a great cook." Clare said as her and Eli walked into his room.  
"Yeah." He said, and sat down on his bed. "So what do you want to do?"  
Clare looked around; they hadn't worked on his room in a while.  
"Maybe go through some things?" Clare made sure that she didn't specifically mention that they'd be throwing things out.  
Eli made a face.  
"And afterwards…" Clare said, trailing off as she walked over to Eli, and kissed him on the lips. She ran her tongue over the edge of his lip and he moaned quietly.  
"Fine." He said when she pulled away.  
They started with the usual assortment of crap, like old newspapers and popcorn buckets, but they eventually came across things that actually could be kept.  
It was then that Clare found the bra.  
It was light purple with black polka dots on it, and she noticed that the size was 40D.  
Julia was a 40D…Clare tried to not let that make her feel uncomfortable.  
Eli's face was burning red as she handed the bra to him.  
"I'm sorry Clare."  
"It's okay." She said. "I have to accept that I'm not the only girl that's ever been in your life."  
Eli looked at her sadly, took a deep breath, and then put the bra in one of the trash bags.  
"Well you're the only girl that matters to me right now." He said, looking her in the eyes.  
Her eyes widened. "Eli, you don't have to get rid of it. I mean, if it means something…"  
"It doesn't. Not anymore." He said, and kissed her forehead. "You're the only one Clare."  
She blushed and wrapped her arms around him, burrowing her face into his chest.  
"Thank you. I love you." She whispered against his heart beat.  
"I love you too." He murmured, kissing her on the head.  
"Well, I think we've done enough work for today." She said, moving the boxes off of the bed.  
Eli smiled and leaned in for a kiss. Their tongues intertwined immediately and Eli crushed his lips into hers, trying for as much passion as he could get.  
Clare reached her hands down to the hem of his tee shirt and he put his arms up, allowing her to slide it over his head.  
She massaged his chest planes and his muscles tightened at her touch.  
He moaned and picked her up into his lap. He moved his hands downward until he was groping her ass, his other hand clutching her own.  
Clare was caught off guard by the touch but didn't fight it.  
Eli moved his hands up to her shirt and started working on the buttons.  
"Is this okay?" He asked.  
She nodded, but felt increasingly subconscious as he slowly removed her shirt.  
He looked her in the eyes, smiling, but she looked away and put her arms over her chest.  
Eli's smile faded and he turned Clare's face back towards him, his eyes searching hers.  
"What's wrong?"  
"Nothing." She said, not fooling him.  
"I'm sorry, you didn't want to take your shirt off. Here." He said, jumping to conclusions and handing it to her. "I'm sorry Clare, I thought you were okay with it since you were at the picnic, please forgive me." He said, truly contrite.  
"No, no it's not that. I'm just…embarrassed that I'm not impressive."  
"What?" Eli asked, confused.  
Clare sighed. "My body is nothing special. I'm a B cup. Alli's a C; I noticed from the bra that Julia was a D. My body won't impress you." She said sadly, and it just about broke Eli's heart.  
"Clare. That is NOT true. Your body is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. More beautiful than any girl at Degrassi, any girl in any magazine. Your hair is the perfect color, your eyes capture me and leave me speechless, and your skin is as soft as porcelain. Plus you just have this strong, yet innocent and sweet look about you. You're like an angel Clare, angelically beautiful."  
She sniffled and looked up at him, trying to see if he meant it or not. "Really?"  
"Absolutely." Eli said, pulling her into a hug. "I would never pressure you to share your body with me, but if you did I would be so honored at the privilege. You are gorgeous, inside and out, and I don't deserve you."  
"Oh Eli!" Clare gushed and attacked his neck with kisses. "You certainly know how to flatter a girl." Clare blushed and looked Eli in the eyes, beaming. He beamed right back at her.  
"I'm simply telling the truth." He replied, and pulled her onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her waist.  
Clare blushed a deeper shade; she had never been given a compliment quite as meaningful as this.  
"Promise me you'll never be subconscious about your beautiful body again." Eli whispered into her ear.  
"I promise." Clare murmured, and she could feel Eli smirk against her ear. "Good." He growled as he slid his tongue inside her ear, tracing the cartilage with the tip of his tongue.  
"Ohh." Clare moaned, caught off guard by the tingling sensation of Eli's warm tongue on her skin. He pushed his tongue in farther and she squirmed.  
He mistook her movements as ones of discomfort, and pulled away.  
Clare turned to face him. "Don't pull away." She whispered and started playing with his fingers.  
"I thought you were uncomfortable." He said.  
"Look Eli, if I ever feel uncomfortable, I'll say so. You don't have to be so afraid to push the boundaries." She said slyly and then blushed at how seductive she sounded.  
Eli put his finger under her chin and lifted her face to his, gently kissing her.  
"Okay. Just don't be afraid to tell me when to stop. Or you know, you could make the first move sometimes." He said, smirking.  
And for some reason that gave Clare the courage she needed.  
She pulled away from him and propped herself up on her knees. She reached behind her back and undid the clasp of her bra, and began slowly sliding the straps down her shoulders.  
"Clare, what are you doing?" Eli asked, but they both knew from the boner in his pants that he knew very well what she was doing.  
"Making the first move." She said quietly, and completely removed the bra.  
Clare looked at Eli's face to see his reaction.  
He couldn't keep his eyes up for the life of him. Clare flushed red but let him look because she trusted him.  
Eventually she couldn't handle it anymore, she flung her arms over her chest.  
"Say something!" She said, breaking Eli's trance. He blinked a few times and then cracked a horny smile. "You so lied about being a B." He said.  
Clare looked down in disappointment. "They're even smaller than that? Damn it I'm sorry-.."  
"Clare, no that's not what I meant at all!" Eli exclaimed. "What I mean is…"  
He trailed off and Clare looked at him expectantly. "What?"  
"I can't say this without sounding like a total pervert…but your breasts are amazing."  
Clare grinned at this compliment, even if it was a little blunt.  
"Really?" She moved her arms away from her chest and Eli took the opportunity to grab her hands.  
"Yes. Clare, why won't you believe that you're beautiful?" He asked bewildered.  
She shrugged. "I don't know. Because…no one's ever seen me before I guess. And I'm just not the…sexy type."  
Eli snorted. "Clare Edwards, me and…" He looked down at his crotch and eyed Clare knowingly. "My member would have to disagree. You are very, VERY sexy."  
"I am not. I'm just an innocent little saint that doesn't know the first thing about how to be sexually appealing."  
"Lies!" Eli exclaimed. "Clare, your innocence is part of your beauty. It makes you astounding and irresistible to me…and as much as I value your purity, you can't imagine how many dirty fantasies I've imagined between us." He said, bluntly, but she needed to know the truth.  
"Mr. Goldsworthy, that's rather bold of you." She said, grinning playfully.  
"Maybe, but it doesn't change the fact that you're beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, pretty, amazing…every good adjective in the dictionary."  
"You're not so bad yourself." She murmured, and her eyes watered up at his shower of compliments. "Thank you."  
Eli leaned in to kiss her, pressing his naked chest up against hers. They both shivered as goose bumps appeared on their bare skin.  
Clare pulled away and looked Eli in the eyes, taking his hands in her own.  
"Eli, put your hands on me." She said quietly.  
"You're sure?" He asked, praying with all his heart (and crotch) that the answer would be yes.  
As an answer, she placed his hands on her naked chest. A tingling sensation shot through her and she inhaled sharply.  
"Relax." Eli whispered, kissing her softly on the cheek. "Don't be nervous, I'll do nothing but make you feel good."  
"You already have." She murmured.  
He smiled. "Just tell me if you want me to stop." She nodded and Eli slowly lowered Clare onto his pillows. He cupped her breasts and began to grope her, gently at first. He traced the shape of her nipple with his fingers and it hardened at his touch. Clare was gasping for breath. "Eli.." She moaned. He kissed her softly on the lips and then began kissing down her neck, leaving a sloppy trail.  
He had his tongue at the opening of his lips and he ran it over her skin, loving the taste and the smell of her perfume.  
He lowered his lips to her cleavage and planted a series of wet kisses in between her breasts. Clare was beginning to lose control and the sounds she made aroused Eli more than anything. He placed one hand on one breast gently and groped it as he moved his lips to the other. He kissed it softly, then began licking it, and finally engulfed her nipple in his mouth. He sucked on it and Clare moaned uncontrollably, her hands rubbing his shoulders as he swirled his tongue around the bud.  
"Oh Eli…" She buried her face in his hair. He removed his hands and Clare frowned slightly at the loss. He smirked.  
"Can't get enough, eh Edwards?" He asked, smiling.  
She bit her lip, completely smitten with him.  
She began to smile a wide, happy smile and Eli gave her an inquisitive look. "Yes?" He asked, smirking at her sudden burst of joy.  
"Eli, you've seen and touched my breasts…and I'm okay with it. I'm not uncomfortable at all. I feel like my body is…just as much yours as it is mine." She said quietly, looking down at her hands.  
"Aww." He murmured and wrapped his arms around Clare, his hands lightly resting on her chest. She leaned back onto his own chest and he kissed the top of her hair.  
"I am so glad that you trust me. I promise I will never betray it." Eli vowed.  
Clare turned her head to look up at him. "I know. And that's why I trust you in the first place. I love you."  
"I love you too beautiful." He said, meaning it more than anything.  
Clare nuzzled her head into his neck and thought about what it would be like to truly give herself to Eli…  
Maybe she'd be ready sooner than she thought.


	2. Chapter 2

Clare swallowed the birth control pill, along with the guilty lump in her throat she had every time she took it. She reminded herself that having sex- no, making love- with Eli wouldn't be wrong, because they were in love. She knew how she felt, and he'd proved his love for her in every way. He respected her so much, but also knew how to drive her wild with pleasure. Clare smirked to herself.

She'd thought so much about it, and she truly believed that it wasn't wrong. She looked at the purity ring on her finger, and imagined giving it to Eli. She blushed at the thought.

Was she really ready?

They hadn't been "official" for that long, but then again they might as well have been together from the moment they met. Everyone saw it coming.

And the amount of time didn't really matter when Clare thought of all that had happened between them. He'd trusted her with his hoarding problem and all of his grief about Julia, and she'd opened up to him about her parents' divorce, and she shared her body with him.

Having Eli's lips and hands on her bare breasts had felt so right, so natural, and so good.

She had been incredibly nervous at first, she WAS subconscious about her body despite what she'd previously thought, but Eli made her feel so comfortable. He was so gentle, and always asked permission. The nervousness had melted away at Eli's touch, but would the same go for the rest of her body, for actual SEX?

She imagined herself, completely naked, before Eli. She imagined him naked; their bodies pressed together, him inside of her-

She stopped herself, her face blushing a deep red. She wasn't quite ready yet. But she knew she would be…very soon. And she'd been taking the pills long enough so that she could have safe sex.

Her train of thought was broken by her cell phone ringing.

Speak of the devil. She thought, and grinned as she answered her phone.

"Hi."

"Hey…can I ask you something?" Eli's voice was serious and Clare adjusted to the mood.

"Of course." She said, curiously.

She could hear him take a shaky breath over the phone. "Will you come to my therapy session with me?" He asked quietly.

"Yes." Clare answered, without a moment's hesitation. She would always be there for him. "Is…that allowed though?" She asked.

"My therapist told me that…if things got rough, I could bring in someone with me, you know to help me…keep my cool. He suggested one of my parents, but I'd rather it be you."

Clare couldn't hold back the wave of joy she felt when he implied that he was closer to her than even his parents. Of course, the same went for her. But she didn't miss that he'd said "If things got rough," So this meant things were getting rough.

"I'll definitely come, I'll always be there for you, and you know that." She said.

"Thank you. It's in a half an hour…do you want me to pick you up?"

"Sure." She answered. "See you soon."

"See ya, love you." He said.

Clare blushed. "Love you too."

They were saying "I love you" to each other when they said goodbye on the phone, how sweet! Clare shook her head at how girly she was being.

She waited, anxious for his arrival and a little nervous about the session, but she figured if he could handle it so could she. It wasn't like she was the one getting the therapy after all.

The doorbell rang and she ran downstairs, smiling when she saw her boyfriend's face.

"Hey." She said.

"Hi." He replied, grinning, and he led her to the car.

The drive was filled with normal conversation, but when they were in the parking lot, Eli's mood became serious.

"Clare…my sessions can be pretty intense." He warned.

"If you can handle it, I can handle it." She confirmed, squeezing his hand.

He took a deep breath. "Please…don't let anything you hear change how you think of me." He whispered, his voice edgy.

"I would never." She said solemnly, and they walked hand in hand into the therapist's office.

His therapist smiled warmly as they walked in and extended his hand to Clare. He had light blond hair and was dressed in simple slacks and a button down. He seemed to have a relaxed attitude and Clare thought that was good for Eli.

"I'm Dr. Vessen, Eli's therapist. And you're Clare?" He asked knowingly. Of course he already knew who Clare was; Eli had mentioned her multiple times.

"Yes, it's nice to meet you." She answered politely.

Dr. Vessen sat down in a large armchair and Eli and Clare made themselves comfortable on the couch. Eli interlaced his fingers with hers and the session began.

It started out not too heavy, they discussed how he was making progress in his room, and Eli shared his few discomforts about things he still couldn't bring himself to throw away. Then things grew a lot more serious.

"So Eli, you invited Clare to your session today." He stated. Eli flashed Clare a small grin and squeezed her hand. "Yup."

"And you're okay with Clare hearing everything we discuss." Clare looked at Eli warily, and she saw nothing but trust in his eyes. "I trust her." Was all he said, confirming what she'd seen.

"You told me that Clare is the person you feel closest to right now, the one you love most." He continued.

"Yes." Eli said; blushing a little and Clare bit her lip to hold back her smile.

"You told me that you feel even closer to her than you ever felt with Julia."

"Yes." Eli said, looking down at his lap, as if he knew where the conversation was going.

"This is why we need to make sure that, if something happens to Clare or if you two break up, there won't be a repeat of everything that happened." The therapist stated and Clare felt a solemn feeling grow in her heart. She didn't want to think about anything that had to do with their relationship ending.

Eli took a deep breath. "It wouldn't repeat…it would be worse."

The doctor nodded. "How often did you cut yourself after Julia passed?" Clare's eyes widened as this was revealed to her, but she tried hard to stay composed, even though the thought of Eli hurting himself broke her heart.

"As soon as the cuts healed enough, I would slit them back open. I felt like I deserved to be harmed for what I'd done to Julia. They were my reminder. And I guess in a way, I hoarded the scars too. Making new ones every time the old ones faded away, refusing to get rid of them." He spoke lowly, like he was ashamed of himself.

"It was awful." He concluded.

"I know Eli, which is why you can't do that again if you and Clare end your relationship. It caused you too much physical and emotional pain. If Clare-…"

"Stop it." Eli said loudly, his voice cracking. "Don't talk like that. Nothing will happen to Clare. Nothing will happen to us. Nothing can happen to us…I need us, I need her." His eyes began watering up and he wouldn't look at Clare. Her heart just about broke in two.

She started rubbing his forearms and he turned to look at her, just for a moment.

"You don't need to worry about anything. I need this just as much as you, believe me. I'm not going anywhere, I love you." She said, trying to smile as she got teary-eyed herself.

The therapist cut in. "I'm glad you guys have such a wonderful relationship, and from what Eli has said it sounds like it will last. I'm simply saying, Eli, you can't rely on Clare as your life line."

"But…" Eli stammered, tears falling down his cheeks.

"You have to live for yourself Eli."

Clare listened to this exchange, completely astonished. Was she the only reason Eli lived, what kept him alive? Certainly not, he'd lived for months between her and Julia.

He could sense that she was perplexed and he turned to her.

"Let me explain. My life, as you know, was terrible. I hoarded. I cut myself. I wanted to die, Clare. Things had just barely been getting better when I met you and then…you sped up the process. You gave me a reason to smile to myself and fantasize about what could be. You gave me something to look forward to everyday. And Clare, the night of our first date…"

He paused, looking her in the eyes, searching them for the strength to continue.

"Yes?" Clare asked softly.

"That night was the first night since Julia died that I didn't cry myself to sleep." He whispered.

That was too much for Clare to handle. She threw her arms around Eli's neck and threw her head onto his shoulder, weeping.

"Eli…I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for everything you've dealt with. And…I'm so glad that I've helped you so much. I…I feel like this is my purpose, like my destiny was to find you and help you, if that makes any sense. I had no idea all the pain you'd been through, and I'll do anything to take it all away. I love you Eli, and I will never leave you. You're stuck with me!" She whimpered. Eli was sobbing too now, they were both so overwhelmed with emotion.

"I love you Clare. Never let me go." He choked between sobs. They were so caught up in everything that they barely heard his therapist say "I'll give you a moment alone."

They both began to calm down, slowly. Eli was gasping for breath. Clare still held him, and no force in the world could make her let go.

"Clare." Eli said, burrowing his wet face into her hair. He wrapped his arms around her.

"But Eli…your therapist is right about one thing. You can't live for me, you have to live for yourself. You're such an amazing person, so many people, especially me, would be heartbroken if you weren't alive. You're talented, kind, brave, accepting…you have so many qualities that make you such a valuable person, and it would be a crime against humanity to end your life."

"Thank you Clare. I know, I know. I will live for myself, I have been."

"Good." Clare murmured against his lips as she softly kissed him.

"But, you're definitely one of the top reasons why I wake up in the morning." He said, smirking.

"There's that smirk." She said playfully, ruffling his hair.

He smiled and they stood up, not letting go of each other's hands.

"I think you had a very productive session today Eli, I'm proud of you." Dr. Vessen said solemnly as him and Clare were preparing to leave.

"I couldn't have done it without her." He said, smiling at Clare. The love in his eyes made her stomach do flip flops.

They said goodbye and Eli practically carried Clare back to his hearse.

"Mr. Goldsworthy!" She said, laughing. "You sweep me off my feet…literally." As corny as it sounded she couldn't resist saying it. Eli chuckled and twirled her around. He was so happy at the progress that he'd just made that his spirits were already good again.

"I love you." He said, as he opened the door to his car. Clare climbed into the passenger side and was soon joined by Eli who came in through the other door. Clare pulled him onto her seat and held his hands. "I love you too."

They watched Dr. Vessen's car pull out of the parking lot, making Morty the only car there. The offices and stores were all closed down, and Eli and Clare realized they were alone. Clare leaned back the seat and pulled Eli into the back of his car with her. A hearse might be a weird thing to drive, but it did have a lot of room in it.

He held her on his lap and she kissed his neck, up in down in a circuit. She nipped at the skin and Eli moaned a little. Her nipping turned to biting as she let her teeth graze his tender skin. He moaned louder and through his head back at the sensation.

Clare pulled his shirt up over his head and threw it on the floor, gently nudging his chest down so he was on top of him. She ran her warm lips over his chest planes and Eli's skin tingled.

Eli was completely caught off guard when she began licking him, starting at his chest and making her way down to his abdomen.

"Oh..Clare, yeah…" He said, groaning as Clare gave him a tongue bath.

"You taste good." She murmured, kissing his hip bones softly. Eli's hard on became increasingly stiff and he moaned her name quietly. She unloosened his belt and he watched her intently as she pulled his pants down, leaving him in just his boxers.

Clare dipped her fingers into them a little past the hem. She fiddled with the waistband and Eli looked at her with raised eyebrows, curious as to what she would do next. Clare envied Eli that he wasn't nervous at all as she became closer and closer to seeing and touching his naked body. He wasn't even blushing.

"You don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with." He said, just reiterating what they already knew.

"You're not nervous at all? I'm inches from stroking you." She said, still bewildered by his calm.

"A few inches too many for my taste." He said, smirking. Clare blushed. "I don't know how this doesn't make you nervous."

"If you're nervous we don't have to do anything." Eli said, always so careful to make sure he didn't pressure her.

She looked at him and took a risk. She pulled his boxers all the way off and couldn't help herself from staring, having never seen a naked guy before. But even so, she knew he had a good size the second she saw him. She blushed red but he didn't, he was so sexually comfortable, so comfortable with his body.

"Staring is rude Ms. Edwards, but I'll take it you like what you see." He said, smirking.

"Do you like this?" Clare asked tentatively as she took his length in her hands. He jolted slightly and bucked his hips a little.

"Clare…"

She stroked him cautiously, having never done this before. The moans escaping his lips told her that whatever she was doing, she was doing it right.

She ran her fingers over it lightly and teased the slit with her thumb.

She could feel pre-cum on her fingers and blushed, but the way Eli was sighing her name made her continue.

She moved his member up and down, simulating the motions of sex and he bucked his hips wildly.

"Holy fuck Clare." He groaned and she was loving his reaction too much to even care about his profanity.

She moved him faster earning higher pitched moans. She reached one of her hands farther back till she felt his prostate.

"Clare!" He screamed, lost in the pleasure of the way Clare moved her hands over his most sensitive areas.

Clare's nerves were melting away and she wanted to try something a little more.

She kissed him lightly on the lips and then went down on him.

"Oh my GOD!" Eli yelled, moaning her name as she planted kisses along his length before tentatively licking him. She engulfed as much as she could into her mouth and began to suck.

"Fuck yes Clare holy shit Clare fuck…" He let out a string of profanities as he thrust into her mouth. His member was swollen and hard and too big to really fit in Clare's mouth. She withdrew his length from her mouth and he whimpered at the loss, but his whimpers turned to moans of intense pleasure as she teased the tip with her tongue and swirled it all over his member.

"Clare, I…I…" She could feel the change in his muscles and knew he was almost finished.

She bobbed on him a few more times before he released in her mouth. Clare didn't recoil at the warm taste as she thought she might, and she swallowed it without a second thought.

Eli was covered in sweat and he panted for breath. Clare watched him, entertained and blushing at what they'd just done.

"I think we've discovered another one of your many talents." He said, smirking with half lidded eyes.

"Honestly, HOW exactly did you learn to give such great head?"

Clare blushed deeply and grinned, embarrassed. "Don't imply that I've done this before."

"I guess you're just more skilled with your tongue than I would have guessed." Eli said and moaned a little at the memory.

"But you didn't have to do that you know." He said. "I mean, you don't regret it or anything right? You don't feel like we-…"

"Eli. Shut up and bask in the afterglow, I'm fine. I wanted to feel you, I wanted to…" She trailed off.

"Yes?" Eli asked, smirking.

"Claim you as my own." She whispered, feeling stupid.

"Clare I assure you, I'm one hundred percent yours and I would've been even if you hadn't given me a blowjob, however I am very thankful."

Clare giggled and Eli opened his eyes completely.

"Damn." He said, licking his lower lip.

"What?"

He sat up then and gently pushed Clare to the floor of the hearse as he got on top of her.

"You look unbelievably sexy with my cum on your face."

She blushed and gave him a look. "You're lucky I find your bluntness flattering."

Eli didn't say anything; he simply attacked her lips with his own, his mouth hungry for passion and lust. His tongue went on a search and find in her mouth and he bit down on her lip. Clare could do nothing but kiss him back and feel the pleasure as he kissed her harder than ever before. He was letting his guard down, being less cautious. It made her a little nervous, but all in all Clare liked it.

He moved his hands to her shirt and unbuttoned it quickly and skillfully, then moved it out of his way as he kissed her all the way down her stomach to the hem of her jeans. He moved his lips back up her body to her neck and sucked on the skin just below her ear.

"Ohh Eli." She moaned. She knew it would leave a mark, but she couldn't care less as Eli bit down lightly on her skin.

He pushed her bra up and groped her intensely, playing with her nipples as he cupped her breasts like his hands were made to fit them.

"Uh…" Clare moaned and let herself fall into bliss.

Eli roamed his tongue down her neck and to her chest as he lapped at her breasts.

"Eli…E-Eli…" Clare's soft moans intoxicated Eli and he lost control. He moved his lips down her stomach, kissing and nipping at the skin on her hips.

"Ohh…" Clare continued to moan as Eli unbuttoned her jeans and pulled her zipper down with his teeth, pulling her pants off in a swift motion. He ran his hands up and down her thighs and then reached his hand in between her legs.

Pleasure shot through Clare's body as Eli rubbed her most sensitive areas through her underwear. She was very wet and the sensation was the most pleasurable thing she'd felt so far.

"Eli…oh gosh…" Clare was lost in pleasure. Eli's hot breath was on her neck and he kissed her in time with the massaging of his fingers. He began to pull her underwear down and that's when she came back, her eyes flinging open.

"No Eli. I…I'm not ready for you to see me and touch me naked." She said.

Eli exhaled and slowly released his grip on the fabric. He edged himself away from her.

As much as he wanted to just FUCK her, there was no way he was going to continue after she'd told him no. He wouldn't do that to the girl he loved.

"Okay." He agreed and Clare could tell how hard it was for him to stop. He put his boxers back on and Clare straightened out her bra and underwear.

"Wow." Clare finally said. Everything that had just happened caught up with her and she blushed intensely. She looked away from Eli.

"You okay?" He asked, crawling over to her and wrapping his arms around her waist. "I'm sorry if I went too far..." He said. Clare wondered why he always blamed himself, she'd been just as much a part of it as he had.

"You don't need to be sorry. I'm just...I can't really believe what just happened."

"Me neither. But...how do you feel about it?"

Clare took a deep breath and turned to face Eli. "I would feel uncomfortable, violated, and regretful...if I were with anybody but you."

Eli stared at her intently as she continued. "Eli...when I'm with you...I can't explain it really, but I know I have nothing to worry about. I know I can trust you with everything about me. When I'm nervous, you're always comfortable and that gives me courage. When I want to stop you never hesitate. And...it's not just physical, it's emotional too. I know I can open up to you about anything."

Eli pulled her close and ran his fingers up and down her back, just holding her. He was glad that she didn't regret anything.

"Me too Clare. I mean, you know from what just happened at my appointment that I have no secrets from you...not anymore. I can trust you with everything. I trust you more than I've ever trusted anyone in my life, more than my parents, Adam, or Julia. You're like...I can't even explain it. My everything." He finally whispered.

Clare began to cry softly, overrun by the sudden flood of emotion.

"Why are you crying?"

"Because...I never knew love could be perfect." She whispered, sniffling a little. This made Eli's own eyes water up.

"Look at me, crying all the time." He muttered as a tear fell from his own eye. "You've turned me into a sap Edwards." He said, smirking, but it was hard to look sarcastic when you were crying with love.

"I love you Eli. Even if you are a sap."

He chuckled and kissed her hair. "I love you too. More than you could ever know."

3


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This chapter doesn't include heavy lemon…sorry: P However it is rather romantic if I do say so myself! Feat. Halo by Beyonce! Enjoy, R&R! **

"NO WAYY!" Alli screamed, jumping up and down on Clare's bed.

"Jeez Alli calm down!" Clare yelled, blushing.

"I'm sorry; I just can't believe you're going to have sex! Well, in a way you actually already have." Alli said, winking and punching Clare in the arm.

"I did not...just oral. That doesn't count." Clare said, her face redder than anything.

"Well I guess since it was you giving it it doesn't really count for you." She agreed, shrugging. "But I can't believe you would even do as much as you've done Clare!"

"Neither would I...but I'm so comfortable with Eli and I just...want him." She said, giggling a little at her bluntness. "And it's not like we're friends with benefits or something sleazy like that...we love each other. And I think that makes this okay."

Alli nodded animatedly. "Definitely. Clare, it's obvious that your both crazy about each other, I don't think anyone would be surprised if you two had sex. Frankly, I think if anyone else was in your situation they would've done it long ago." Alli said, laughing.

"Yeah...but I don't want to rush things. Do you think this is rushed?"

"Not really. I mean, sure you've only been dating for about two months, but with all that's happened between you guys you might as well have been together for years."

"That's what I think too." Clare said.

"And in reality, you guys have been head over heels in love since that day in the parking lot, which technically makes you an item of four months." Alli said and draped her bangs over one eye and attempted to smirk. "You have pretty eyes." She mimicked Eli and earned a slap in the arm from Clare.

"Oh shut up." She said, but she was laughing.

"So...when and where exactly is the deflowerization of Saint Clare going to occur?" Alli asked, and Clare stuck out her tongue.

"Well...I'm assuming at his place. His room is almost clean, and there's really no way we could do it here. Plus, he does have a double bed." She said, laughing inwardly at the memory of his mother basically trying to pimp him out to her.

"That sounds nice. So when?" Alli pried; she was determined to get all her details.

"I was thinking maybe this upcoming Friday night...I could spend the weekend at his house and tell my parents I was staying with you."

Alli nodded, perfectly okay with being used as a cover up. "But what about his parents?"

Clare snorted. "I don't they'll have a problem with it. And anyways, his dad has a pretty busy job so they might be out of the house."

"I hope they're out of the house...can you say awkward if they aren't?" Alli said, laughing.

"Well...I'm pretty sure that even if they don't have any plans they'll be happy to leave me and Eli alone at the house."

Alli's eyes widened at this. "I wish my parents were that chill."

Clare just laughed.

"So...you're really ready?" Alli asked, still in shock.

Clare took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes." She said softly. She was in shock too.

"So what does Eli think about this plan?"

"I...haven't told him yet." Clare admitted, the blush seeping back into her cheeks.

"So what are you planning on doing, surprising him?" Alli asked giggling.

Clare glared.

"No. I was thinking...maybe I could tell him tomorrow at lunch. Or later today if I see him."

"That'd be good. Give him about five days notice. Or who knows, maybe knowing this soon will make his balls turn blue in anticipation of the big event." Alli squealed, laughing hysterically.

"Shut up you pervert." Clare said, shoving Alli. "The Big Event", she thought...it certainly would be.

"Spit it out dude." Adam said, shaking Eli's shoulders as they sat on his couch.

"Since when did you start acting like a girl?" Eli asked, and although his sarcastic remark was ironic and could've been taken offensively, Adam didn't mind, him and Eli were so close it didn't matter.

"Since I'm never going to get a girlfriend, you're my only way to know about the pleasures of dating." He said.

"One, you will get a girlfriend someday. And two, you make me sound like a porn source." Eli said, making a face.

"Oh shut up and just spill." Adam said, rolling his eyes.

"How do you know there's anything to spill?" Eli asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Because I saw the way you and Clare were acting earlier today, and I'm not stupid. You guys did something yesterday, after your therapy session."

Eli smirked at the memory of their time in the hearse and Adam cracked a smile.

"I knew it." He said, satisfied.

"Fine. You want all the gory details?" Eli said sarcastically.

"Not all the details bro." Adam said chuckling. Eli laughed too.

"Okay...well...she gave me a blow job." Eli said, staring at Adam to see what his reaction would be.

His jaw dropped. "Clare Edwards...gave you a blow job?" He said, disbelievingly.

"Was she that much of a prude before I came around that no one would suspect her of such things?" Eli asked, amused at Adam's reaction.

"Well from what people say I guess she must've been." Adam said, shrugging, then punched Eli on the shoulder. "Dude! Way to go bro, damn."

Eli smirked and looked away. "You're ridiculous." He said.

"You're blushing." Adam teased.

"Am not."

"Does Clare make you nervous?" Adam taunted.

"No. I mean, why should I be nervous? I'm not the one who's a virgin..." Eli said, trailing off. He wasn't really nervous for himself, he was nervous for Clare. He wanted everything to feel just as good for her as it did for him. And he didn't want her to regret it; that was his worst fear. His first time with Julia (when they had both lost their virginities) had been a little spur of the moment and without much thought. He was almost positive that she'd regretted it afterwards, and he did too. Eventually sex became a normal thing between them but he couldn't shake the fact that their first time had been all wrong.

He didn't want it to be that way for Clare. He would never admit this to Adam, maybe not even to Clare, but he didn't feel like he deserved to be her first time. He felt like she deserved the perfect prince of her wildest day dreams to come and marry her and sweep her off her feet. She would just laugh and tell him he was her prince if he ever told her that, but he knew he was far from the perfect fairytale boyfriend.

Most girls fantasize about a strapping prince riding in a horse-drawn carriage, not a gothic hoarder driving a hearse.

Eli's train of thought was interrupted by Adam.

"She so makes you nervous." He said, giggling. Eli shoved him.

"Just shut up dude."

"Fine, fine. But you guys…wow. You're so cute it's almost disgusting. Actually, it is disgusting." Adam said, making a face and then laughing.

"When you finally get a girlfriend you don't know how much I'll rag on you." Eli said, smirking mischievously.

"Like that's gonna happen." Adam snorted.

"Hey guys." They both turned to see Adam's brother Drew walk into the living room.

"Hey Drew, what's up?" Adam asked.

Drew grinned. "We've been invited to a party tonight." He said, and his smile grew wider.

"Really? Where?" Adam asked.

"The Coyne's." Eli smiled then too and looked at Adam who was dumbfounded.

"Really? Why? And how do you know?" He questioned, getting a little flustered.

"She just called me and invited us. She said that she thought you might hate her for ditching your party, so she didn't want to risk calling you." He said, wiggling his eyebrows. "She likes you bro."

"She does not. She would've come to my party if she did." Adam said, refusing to get his hopes up.

"Not necessarily dude, I mean you never know what could've come up." Eli pitched in.

"Whatever. So who all is going?"

Drew shrugged. "She said anyone is welcome."

Adam turned to Eli. "You wanna go?"

Eli made a face. "Not really my style."

Adam's phone beeped and he read the text message, smirking. "I just saw Fiona's facebook invitation to the party. You going? Eli and I will be there for you if you are." He read Clare's message out loud.

Eli shook his head and chuckled. "I guess I am going." They all laughed and then Adam went to go look for something nice to wear.

Drew switched his weight from foot to foot, standing there awkwardly since him and Eli weren't exactly friends.

"So, you're with Clare Edwards huh?" Drew finally said, trying to make conversation.

Eli nodded. "Yup. You know her at all?"

"She's Alli's best friend, so I've heard stuff about her. All good things." Drew said, grinning.

Eli smirked. "That's Clare."

"Well she seems like a great girl . Way to go." Drew said.

"Thanks, and I know she is."

_She really is. _Eli murmured to himself.

"Dude, would you just calm down?" Eli said to Adam who wouldn't stop fixing his tie.

"But I need to look perfect for Fiona!" Adam responded nervously. They were standing outside Fiona's door.

Eli rolled his eyes. "You look fine."

"Yeah right, I can't tie a tie for my life." Adam snorted.

"No really Adam, you look great. And you don't look too bad either Goldsworthy."

Both boys turned at the sound of Clare's voice, and Eli's jaw dropped.

She was wearing a bright red dress with spaghetti straps that went down to just above her knees. It hugged her body in all the right places and went perfectly with her vibrant hair (which was straightened for the evening) and bright blue eyes. She wore a simple pearl necklace that hung just over her cleavage. Her very _good _cleavage, Eli thought.

"You look beautiful." Eli said, walking over and hugging her. She kissed him on the cheek and leaned her head on his shoulder. "Thank you." She murmured.

"Yo love birds, kind freaking out here!" Adam said while frantically running his hands through his hair.

"Don't worry Adam. Fiona invited you over, didn't she?" Clare said, patting Adam on the shoulder. "You have nothing to worry about."

They didn't have any more time to discuss the matter because Fiona opened her door.

"Hi guys, good of you to come." She said politely to Eli and Clare, and then she saw Adam.

"Hey!" She said, beaming as she wrapped Adam into a hug.

Adam patted her back with a dumbfounded expression on his face.

"Hey Fi, good to see you too." Adam said, and he pulled away to smile at the girl who he had a gigantic crush on. "You look amazing."

"Why thank you Prince Adam!" Fiona replied. "I'm sorry I missed your party, but we'll talk more about that later. Right now I need someone to escort me to the dance floor." Fiona asked, looking at Adam expectantly.

Adam smiled wider than anything and held his arm out and Fiona linked hers through his.

Adam turned around to look at Eli and Clare. Eli gave him the thumbs up and Clare just smiled.

"Aww." She said. "Adam's such a sweetie, I hope Fiona doesn't break his heart." She said, putting her hand on her chest.

"Please." Eli said, chuckling and grabbing her hand. "C'mon, let's go join the prince and princess on the dance floor."

Clare happily obliged.

Fiona's home was really nice, and there was plenty of room to dance. Clare recognized a few other people at the party but mainly just hung out with Eli. He got her a drink and then walked her to a love seat a little ways away from the floor.

He sat down and she cuddled close to him; he draped his arm around her.

"This party is almost as good as Adam's." He said.

Clare nodded. "I know. I can't believe we've been to two awesome parties in only a few weeks."

"I know. I feel so out of character." Eli said, chuckling.

Clare set her drink down on a coffee table and intertwined her fingers with Eli's.

"I'm really proud of you."

Eli smirked and looked down at her. "Thank you? That was unexpected."

"I was just thinking of all the things you've had to deal with…and how well you've managed. You're a real trooper." Clare said, kissing him lightly on the neck. He shivered.

"I'd be nothing without you." Clare looked up at him and smiled. They leaned in to kiss and before they knew it their tongues were intertwined.

Clare thought that maybe this would be a good time to tell him.

"Eli…" She started, pulling away from the kiss and taking both of his hands in hers.

"Mm?" Eli murmured, looking her in the eyes. Clare was nervous so she looked down at their hands.

She took a deep breath. "I'm ready." She whispered.

It took a moment before Eli knew what she meant, and then his eyes widened. "Really?"

Clare nodded. "I feel comfortable with everything we did in the hearse yesterday and…I'm ready to take the next step. I really love you Eli." She whispered.

"Clare…you don't have to do this."

She looked him in the eyes, blushing a little. "But I want to Eli. I really do this time. I mean…we're bonded so closely together emotionally… I'd like to make our bond physical too." She whispered, her face getting redder every second and she looked down again.

Eli gently tilted her chin up and looked her in the eyes. "You're sure, Clare?"

"I am sure." She answered.

Eli couldn't see any doubts in her eyes, just a little nervousness.

"I was thinking…maybe I could come stay over this weekend?" She proposed.

Eli nodded. "Yeah, that would be great. My room's almost done, so we won't feel closed in." He said.

"Yeah, will your parents be okay with it?" She asked, then laughed a little. "That was stupid for me to ask wasn't it?"

Eli laughed too. "Yup, I'm pretty sure they'll be cool with it. In fact, they were thinking of going to stay in the city some weekend this month, maybe I can convince them to do that this weekend."

"That would be good." Clare said.

Eli nodded and then started quietly talking to himself. "I'm sure I can. And I'll have enough time to clean even more of my room up before. Yup, it'll work fine." He said, then looked at Clare, smiling.

Clare smiled back.

"And you've been on the pill long enough?" Eli asked.

Clare nodded. "Yes. And we'll use condoms too won't we?" She asked.

"Of course. You don't have to worry about anything, I'll make the night perfect for you." He vowed.

Clare's face flushed red and she kissed him softly. "Thank you."

Eli just smirked. "So…would you like to dance?"

Clare made a face of mock surprise. "To a romantic slow song? Would you really?"

Eli smirked and stood up from the couch, extending his hand to Clare.

"Twist my rubber arm girl friend."

Clare grinned and grabbed his hand.

The party was nearly over so there weren't many people on the dance floor. Adam and Fiona had been dancing a lot, but they were sitting this one out, chatting animatedly. Adam looked happier than Clare or Eli had ever seen him before.

"Halo" by Beyonce was playing and most of the remaining people sat down since it wasn't exactly a group dance song, and there weren't many couples at the party.

Eli however led Clare straight to the center of the dance floor.

She blushed and he smirked. "Embarrassed to be scene dancing with the emo boy?" He asked.

"You know I'd never be." She replied, grinning and kissing him softly on the lips.

Eli picked up one of her hands and held it at eye level, then placed his other hand on her waist. Clare smirked at how classic Eli was acting and rested her free hand on his shoulder.

They glided around the floor, Eli suavely leading, and Clare's blush remained because she knew people were staring. But once she got lost in Eli's mesmerizing green eyes, she really couldn't care less.

He let go of her hand only to wrap both arms around her waist and pull her close. She laid her hands on his upper back.

"Everywhere I'm looking now, I'm surrounded by your embrace. Baby I can see your halo. You know you're my saving grace."

Clare was startled as Eli sang the words softly into her ear.

"I can see your Halo Edwards." He whispered, his smirk turning into a smile as he kissed her lightly on the neck.

"Eli…" She whispered, pulling him even closer to her and resting her head on his shoulder.

He moved one of his hands up her body and started rubbing her back.

"You're my angel Clare." He whispered.

She smiled to herself and closed her eyes, since they were wet and she didn't want to cry at a party.

"I love you Eli. So much."

"I love you too Clare."

They danced till the very end of the song, never opening their eyes, completely lost in each other.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I really love writing this fic: D sorry that I'm stalling the good part, it'll be here soon, I PROMISEE! LOVE YOU ALL****3 thanks for the reviews and plz continue to R&R! This is a short chapter I know, and it feat. Titanic (my person favorite movie lol) **

"Guys…the party's over."

Clare and Eli looked up to see Adam standing there, shaking his head in amusement.

"Oh." Clare mumbled, she was still in a daze from dancing with Eli.

Eli smirked. "Fine. Clare, the prince is banishing us." He said.

Adam rolled his eyes. "Oh just go home love birds."

On their way out Clare stopped to talk to Fiona. "Thank you so much for throwing this great party! Would you like us to stay and help clean up?"

Fiona smiled and shook her head. "You're welcome, and no thanks. I think Adam and I have got it."

Clare smiled back. Maybe Fiona and Adam really would be together.

Eli and Clare walked hand in hand back to the hearse and when Eli started up the motor Clare sighed and pouted.

"Yes dear?" He asked, smirking and raising his eyebrows.

"I don't want tonight to be over." She said. He smiled.

"It doesn't have to be. You wanna come back to my place?"

Clare looked at him for a second. "Will we…?" She trailed off but Eli knew what she meant.

He shook his head. "No, not tonight. I think we should save that for Friday. After all, tomorrow is a school day and I don't want you to be tired." He said, smirking. Clare blushed a little but smirked right back.

"So you wanna? We can watch some movies, pop some popcorn," Eli listed as he moved his lips closer and closer to hers before finally kissing her passionately. He ran his tongue over her lip but he pulled away before Clare opened her mouth.

She glared. "Drive Goldsworthy." She muttered, and Eli laughed.

"Your wish is my command."

Eli rolled his eyes but still cracked a smile. "Fine. Typical girly movie choice." He said, teasing Clare.

Her eyes widened, she thought it would've taken a lot more convincing for him to agree.

"Really? You'll watch it?" She asked hopefully.

"Well, Titanic is a great movie, I can't deny that. It's based on a true story and has excellent acting." He said.

Clare walked over to him and hugged him , nuzzling her head up under his neck.

"And it's romantic…"

Eli smirked and kissed her on the forehead. "That too." He got the popcorn and sodas and then sat down on his living room couch next to Clare.

"But I'll only watch it if you cuddle with me."

Clare smirked and ruffled his hair, then crawled onto his lap.

Eli pulled a blanket off the top of the couch and wrapped it around both of them.

He leaned back onto some pillows and Clare snuggled up on his chest, her head resting on his warm heart beat.

They watched most of the movie like that, at least up until they got to the second half.

Clare started sniffling slightly and then completely lost control when Rose jumped off the lifeboat back onto the ship to be with Jack.

"This is my favorite scene." Clare choked.

Eli wrinkled his nose and looked down at her.

"Why? He was trying to save her and she completely messed it up."

Clare turned her tear stained face up towards Eli's.

"Because she would rather die with him then live a life without him. Even though she knew staying with him would most likely be a hopeless cause and lead to death, she risked it because she couldn't live without him."

"But Jack loved her so much that he wanted her to live even if it meant he would die. She should've left him then, that's what he wanted her to do."

"But I- I mean she- couldn't just leave him there, because she knew he needed her just as much as she needed him."

Eli smiled as another tear fell down Clare's cheek. He kissed it away and then sat up, pressing his forehead to hers.

"Well I guess even though I- I mean he- wanted her to leave since he knew she'd be better off without him, he was glad that she stayed. Because in reality watching her leave would've been the worst kind of hell he'd gone through yet." Eli whispered, running his hands through her hair.

Clare grabbed his free hand and pressed her lips to it gently.

"You jump I jump, right?" She murmured.

"Right."

Eli closed the distance between their lips and attacked Clare's lips with his own, tears falling down both of their cheeks.

They never finished the movie.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Okay guys, I promise the next chapter will be the sex scene. SWEAR. I just added those nice little romantic chapters to remind you guys that Eclare's relationship isn't all about sex! Hehe yes I know I'm annoying:P R&R! ENJOY!**

Today was the day. Friday.

Clare couldn't focus on anything in school, she was so glad that it was the last period of the day and she wouldn't have to do any more work, but she also wished time wouldn't move so fast.

The entire week after Fiona's party and her and Eli's movie night had been a blur.

She and Eli had hung out of course, gone out a little, made out a little, but done nothing more than they'd done that day in the hearse. Tonight was the BIG night, the real deal.

Clare had never been more nervous in her entire life.

She nearly jumped out of her seat when the bell rang.

She walked to her locker in a daze and then packed her things for the weekend, even though she knew the chance of getting any homework done over the weekend was slim.

"Hey."

She jumped again at the sound of his voice.

She whipped around and slammed her locker shut by mistake, startling Eli.

"Clare, is everything okay?" He asked, concern showing in his eyes.

Clare could only nod.

Eli didn't seem convinced but he let it go for the time being.

"Would you still like me to drive you home?"

Again she only nodded.

Eli slung Clare's backpack over his free shoulder and held Clare's hand as they walked to his hearse.

He opened the door for her and she smiled.

"Thank you." She replied sweetly, she was finally getting her voice back.

Eli smiled and walked around to the driver's side.

They didn't talk very much on the ride home, Clare looked out the window for most of the short trip and Eli tried to keep his eyes on the road, though Clare could tell he was glancing at her every few moments.

He stopped in front of Clare's house and Clare turned to him and smiled.

"Thanks for the ride…see you tonight!" The blush was plain on her cheeks.

"Clare wait." Eli said, just as she was about to get out. He put the car in park and turned his body to look at her.

"Yes?" Clare asked shyly, shrinking back into her seat.

Eli put his hand on her knee and rubbed it gently. Clare shivered.

"Talk to me. You've been acting weird all day."

Clare took a deep breath. "I'm just really nervous about tonight." She whispered.

"Clare," Eli said, looking into her eyes gently. "We don't have to go through with this tonight. Not if you're not ready."

"But…I am ready Eli. I know I am. Really, I am." She said, and looked back into his eyes so he could see that she wasn't lying.

"I'm just nervous. It's my first time and…I don't want to mess anything up."

"You won't mess anything up." Eli murmured, trying to soothe her.

"I just…" Clare looked down at her hands. "I want it to be perfect."

Eli reached out and cupped her face in his hands and tilted her head up so she was forced to look at him.

"Clare Diana Edwards. I love you, more than anyone or anything. And if you really are ready, I will make sure tonight is the best, most perfect experience you could ever imagine."

Clare looked at him and grinned a little, stroking his thumb that rested on her cheek bone.

"I really am ready Eli."

Eli leaned forward and kissed her softly on the lips, just for a second.

"Then you have nothing to be nervous about. I'll see you tonight Clare." He whispered.

With that Clare got her things and exited the car.

She went straight up to her room, not bothering to talk to her mother. She knew her mom would detect that something was up, and it wasn't like Clare could tell her mom she was planning on losing her virginity that night.

The second Clare got to her room she collapsed onto her bed and whipped her cell phone out of her pocket.

"Hello?" Alli answered on the first ring.

"Alli, I am going over to Eli's house in two and a half hours to lose my virginity and I am about to go insane."

"Woah Clare, calm down. Are you sure you're really ready?"

"Yes. I'm just…I'm afraid I'll be bad it. Or I'll say the wrong thing. Or something will happen in the middle of it and ruin the moment. Or-…"

"Clare. It's going to be fine. As long as you're ready…"

"I am!"

"Okay, okay, gosh." Alli said. Clare could tell she was overwhelming her a little.

"I'm sorry…but weren't you really nervous before your first time?"

"Well…I didn't exactly have time to be nervous. It was kind of a split decision with Johny, I mean the van was right there so-…"

"Okay, I don't need details."

"Sorry. But yeah, I mean I guess I was nervous."

"Okay…so, how I'm feeling is normal?"

"Well yeah. I mean Clare, you've saved yourself and vowed to only have sex when you're truly in complete love."

"Which I am now, with Eli."

"Yes, so when you put that much hype on your virginity of course losing it is gonna make you nervous."

"I guess you're right."

"Yeah, well." Alli giggled.

"Thanks. Talk to you later?"

"Talk to me the second he pulls out! I want a full replay, leave out nothing!" Alli said and Clare rolled her eyes.

"BYE ALLI."

She hung up to Alli's laughter.

Alli was a great best friend but she could be so dirty!

"HAH! Who's the king of Call of Duty NOW?" Adam boasted as he creamed Eli yet again.

"Yeah, yeah, you win, whatever." Eli said, putting down the controller and turning off his x-box.

"Dude, you suck today."

"Let's hope not." Eli muttered under his breath.

"Huh?" Adam asked.

"Nothing!" Eli said, standing up. "You hungry? I am!"

"Dude, hold up." Adam said, grabbing Eli by the arm.

"What?" Eli asked, slightly annoyed.

"What's with you?"

Eli sighed. "Nothing. Now let's eat because no offense dude but you need to get out of here before Clare comes over."

"Oh." Adam said, the realization sinking in. "THAT'S why you've been so weird today."

"Yeah, maybe." Eli mumbled.

"You're nervous."

"Shut up. I am NOT nervous." Eli lied.

"Dude, I've never seen you like this before. You're almost as bad as Clare."

"What's wrong with Clare?

Adam rolled his eyes. "Didn't you see her at all today? She's a nervous wreck! I thought she was gonna chew her whole fingers off!"

"Yeah well it's fine that she's nervous. She's a virgin. This is her first time. She's gonna remember it forever and she wants it to be perfect and fuck I can't do this!" Eli exclaimed, slamming his head against the wall.

"Dude, pull yourself together." Adam said, patting Eli on the shoulder.

"I don't wanna screw things up. I want everything to be perfect for her."

"And it will be." Adam tried to reassure him.

"How?" Eli asked, still fretting.

"She loves you Eli, for you. Just be yourself. Go slow, be gentle, be romantic…everything Clare loves. And she'll love it. Eli, her expectations probably aren't as high as you think."

"They're probably higher than I think!" Eli yelled, pulling at his hair.

"Honestly, she was gonna save herself until marriage! MARRIAGE! And now she's decided to give up that fantasy of her magical prince charming husband romantically making love to her for the first time for ME. She's giving it up to me and I don't deserve it!"

"Eli, yes you do."

"No I don't, Adam!" Eli said so loudly that Adam took a step back.

"I don't deserve anything from her, especially not this. I'm a loser! She shouldn't have to put up with all my issues and all my relationship baggage. Honestly, she'd be better off without me!"

"Eli, calm the hell down and pull yourself together."

Eli looked at Adam, a little surprised at his blunt demand.

"Look, Clare loves you. And you're right, she's a great girl and she deserves the best. But to her, you are the best Eli! She loves you and this is HER choice. And you love her, and you would do anything for her. So to me, and to her, that makes you a pretty good guy. So just accept that Clare wants you to be her first time, and do everything you can to make it special. If she thinks you deserve it Eli, then you do."

All Eli could do was stand there and listen, stunned.

Adam crossed his arms over his chest and coughed slightly.

Adam was right, Eli thought. Clare loved him despite the fact that he was so messed up…why?

_You jump I jump._

Eli blinked a few times to make the wetness leave his eyes. He should've never agreed to watch Titanic.

"Thanks Adam. I owe you man."

"Don't mention it bro. I'll see you around."

Eli nodded and gave Adam a hug. They didn't hug that often being guys, but this was definitely a necessary hugging moment.

After Adam left, Eli sat back down on his couch and took a deep, deep breath.

_Clare loves me. I love her. This is what she wants. This is what I want. God I love her so much._

He thought to himself, the wetness returning to his eyes. And in that moment, his nervousness and qualms left him. He knew Clare was ready, and he was too. He was over Julia, he was getting help with his hoarding, and he was ready to give his new and improved self to Clare.

And he was going to make her love every minute of it.

**A/N: So I think you guys know what's up next….;) **

**R&R! And the next chapter will be up soon!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Well…this is it! I'm not sure if I'm gonna add another chapter this, I might, idk yet. Do you want me too? R&R! And enjoy!**

_Ding dong._

Eli jumped a little at the sound of his doorbell ringing. He took a deep breath. _This is it._

He opened the door to Clare and went weak in the knees when he saw her soft and smiling face.

"Hey." He said, smiling.

"Hi." She replied, a little shyly.

She was wearing a dark green jumper with a black denim jacket, and Eli thought the colors flattered her perfectly.

Clare's head went fuzzy as she took in how handsome Eli looked, standing there in his faded gray jeans and darker gray button down.

Clare walked in and Eli shut the door behind her, leaning up against it.

"I made you some food if you're hungry."

"That sounds great, thanks." Clare said.

Eli turned to lead her into the kitchen but not before pulling her into a warm hug and kissing her softly on the forehead.

"Here, try this." Eli said, holding a spoon filled with orange-red liquid up to Clare's lips.

She took a sip and the taste surprised her, it tasted like cinnamon and vanilla and she had anticipated it to be spicy due to its coloring.

"It's good, what is it?" She asked.

Eli smirked and shrugged. "I don't know. But my mom has made it before and I always liked it, so I figured maybe you might."

Clare nodded. "Yeah, it's delicious."

"Oh and of course a very rare delicacy of mine…" Eli said sarcastically and smirked as he handed Clare a plate of macaroni.

She laughed. "I love macaroni."

"I know; that's why I made it." They smiled at each other and began to eat.

Clare ate up, all the stress she'd been feeling all day had made her hungry.

She hiccupped when she finished and Eli smirked.

"Thanks for dinner Eli, it was really good."

"No problem. Hey, wait here for a second?" He asked, standing up from the table.

"Sure." Clare said, as she put their dishes into his dishwasher.

Eli reappeared a moment later holding a bouquet of flowers and a little box.

"Aww Eli, you didn't have to get me anything!" Clare said, smiling as Eli handed her the flowers.

"But didn't I?" He countered.

Clare sniffed the flowers which were pink, yellow, and orange, her favorite colors.

"They're beautiful. Thank you." She said, smiling warmly. She honestly hadn't expected Eli to get her anything and she was very touched.

"You're welcome. Oh, and here." He said, taking a small silver necklace out of the box. It had a tiny heart charm on it.

"Aw Eli this is gorgeous, thank you!" Clare gushed, happily overwhelmed by all the gifts she was receiving.

Eli put it on her and then held the little charm between his fingers. "It looks great on you."

He looked into her eyes and she knew what was coming.

They leaned into the kiss, one of Eli's palms resting on Clare's cheek and the other hand gripping her waist.

Clare wrapped her arms around his neck and opened her mouth to him as he bit her lip lightly and then wrapped his tongue around hers.

Clare moaned a little and Eli responded with a low groan of his own, tightening his grip on her and pushing his tongue in farther.

They finally pulled away to breathe, both of them red in the face.

Their foreheads were still pressed together and Clare found his green eyes staring into hers intently as they breathed slowly.

"I love you." Eli whispered to her like it was a secret.

"I love you too Eli. I really do." Clare murmured back, falling onto his chest and he picked her up off the ground, squeezing her too him.

He set her back down a moment later and neither of them spoke for a second.

Finally, Eli broke the silence by coughing and then stuttering: "Would you…you know, like to go up to my room?"

Clare shivered and a nervous spasm shot through her.

"Mmhm." She replied, and held his hand as they walked upstairs together.

Clare had been down Eli's hallway and into his room a million times, but this time was so different. She walked down the hallway cautiously and slowly as if it was completely foreign to her and she had no idea where she was going.

Eli opened his door and Clare was pleasantly surprised to see it was even cleaner than it had been the last time she'd been over.

"Wow Eli…it's almost done."

"Almost." He mumbled, but then flashed Clare a grin, giggling.

"Really, it looks great."

"Thanks." Eli said, and continued to look back and forth between his room and Clare, as if he was waiting for her to notice something else.

It was then that Clare got over the fact that it was almost clean, and she noticed the candles everywhere. There were lots of them and they were scented, they provided the only light in the room. Even though it was only about eight o'clock, it was already dark outside.

"Eli…it's beautiful." She said, awestruck by the breath-taking display.

"I thought you would like it." He said, smiling.

"Whew, it's hot in here." Clare mumbled all of a sudden and threw off her jacket.

"Cause you're in here."

Clare smirked at Eli and he busted out laughing. "I'm sorry I couldn't resist."

Clare laughed too and walked closer to Eli, taking his hands in her own.

"Well Edwards, if it's so hot, maybe you'd cool down if you took off more of your clothes." Eli whispered seductively, and smirked.

Clare made a face and ran her hand through his hair, then grinned.

"Well okay, but…" She drawled as she unbuttoned his shirt, kissing down his chest with every button she undid.

She threw the shirt off of him and onto the floor and slowly ran her hands up his chest. He shivered.

"But I think you should take some clothes off too. You look like you're burning up."

Clare whispered, her mouth only an inch away from his.

Eli smirked and pulled Clare close, moving his hand around to her back so he could unzip her jumper in one swift movement. He let it fall to the ground and admired Clare's body in her black lingerie.

His eyes almost popped out of his head and Clare smirked, satisfied.

"That's new." He whispered, and Clare laughed pressing her body to his.

"Do you like it?"

"Uh…" Eli said, and cracked a horny smile. Clare moved her hands down toward his pants which were getting tighter by the moment, and she unzipped them and pulled them down to his ankles. He stepped out of them and hugged her close; their bare skin shivering as they brushed against one another.

Eli picked Clare up and walked over to the bed, setting her down and then kissing her deeply on the mouth.

They moaned together and finally Clare pulled away.

"Eli…"

Eli rubbed her knees and looked into her eyes. "Yes?"

"I…I want you to have this." Clare said quietly, sliding her purity ring off of her finger and handing it to Eli.

Eli's eyes widened at the gesture and he smiled. "Thank you Clare."

He slid it on his pinky finger because it was too small for the others.

"And I have something else for you too…" Eli said, reaching over to his night stand and taking a small piece of jewelry out of a box. Clare now realized it was a ring.

"This is a promise ring. I promise you Clare, I will always be here for you and I will love you no matter what. You have changed my life and I would do anything for you. I love you. And I want you to promise to always be mine, and not give up on me, because in reality you're all that keeps me going Clare."

His eyes watered up a little and his throat tightened, making it harder for him to speak.

"I love you Eli, and I promise." Clare said, a tear falling down her cheek.

Eli slid the promise ring onto her finger in place of her purity ring, and Clare admired its beauty.

Eli promised to love her, and she promised to love him.

It represented their emotional unification, and Clare thought that was as good as marriage, completely erasing the few remaining doubts she had about if having sex with Eli would be right.

Tears kept falling down her cheeks and she let a small sob escape her lips.

"What's wrong Clare?" Eli asked, taking her hands in his, pushing her new ring around her finger.

"Nothing…nothing at all. This is…perfect." Clare choked out.

Eli smiled and kissed her tears away softly, making her whimper again.

"You're perfect Clare." He murmured, and kissed down her neck. He undid her bra clasp and slid the straps down her shoulders, removing it and throwing it on the floor.

Eli ran his warm hands from her breasts down to her panty line.

Clare took a deep breath.

Eli looked up at her. "You okay?"

She nodded. "I'm just…really nervous." She said.

"Don't be." Eli whispered, slowly lowering her onto his pillows so he was hovering over her. "I love you and you don't need to be nervous around me."

"I…I…" Clare realized he was right. Although being so intimate was causing her so many nerves, Eli was the only thing that could soothe her. Whenever he looked into her eyes, gently asked her if it was okay to keep going, told her he loved her…the nerves melted away.

They slowly left her body, and were replaced by a small fire of anticipation.

"Okay." Clare whispered, and Eli removed her underwear.

Clare tensed up; this was the first time she'd ever been naked around a boy.

"It's okay." Eli said, rubbing her thigh. He slipped his hand in between her legs and massaged her clit, earning high pitched moans from Clare.

"Uh…" The circular motion of his thumb on her most sensitive spot drove Clare over the edge and she could feel her body adjusting to his touch.

"You're so wet Clare." Eli growled, obviously aroused.

He slipped a finger inside of her and thrust it in and out.

"Oh god." Clare cried, bucking her hips a little to meet the motion of his fingers. She'd never felt so good in her entire life.

Eli slipped another finger in and moved them around, thrusting deeper and faster as his thumb still played with her clit.

He dared to slip one more in and slowed his movements a little, but still thrust deep. She was really tight and he was trying to prepare her for his intrusion.

"Eli…Eli…I…I want you now." She whispered. Her body was tired of the foreplay and her nerves were gone.

Eli nodded and removed his boxers. He got a condom from his nightstand drawer and slipped it on carefully.

He position himself at Clare's opening and looked down into her eyes.

"You're sure you're ready?" He asked for the last time.

"Yes Eli. I love you."

"I love you too. Clare, this is gonna hurt a little. Tell me if you'd like me to stop and I promise I'll go slow and gently."

Clare nodded and Eli entered her.

His penis was a lot bigger than his fingers and Clare could feel her walls stretch out. He pushed past her resistance and Clare whimpered in pain.

"I'm sorry Clare." Eli whispered, wishing she didn't have to endure the pain.

He took her hand and she squeezed it tightly.

His intrusion felt weird and her body was very unaccustomed to it but she knew she would adjust.

"It's okay…move a little bit." She said.

Eli thrust lightly and Clare whimpered again.

"The pain will go away, I promise." Eli whispered, kissing down her neck.

He thrust again, still incredibly slow, and had to hold back a groan of pleasure.

He felt bad that he was enjoying it while Clare was still in pain but her walls were so tight around him and he couldn't help the way his body reacted.

The initial pain was starting to subside as Eli slowly thrust into her, and Clare knew it would stop soon.

She was really sore and it still hurt as he thrust into her but it was becoming more bearable.

He thrust a few more times, still slowly, so careful not to hurt her. The pain went numb and Clare began to feel sparks of pleasure building inside her.

She lifted her hips slightly to meet Eli's thrusts and moaned a little, but out of pleasure this time.

Eli could tell she was more comfortable and he thrust a little deeper.

"Oh god." Clare whispered and pleasure shot through her as Eli thrust into her center.

"You okay?" Eli groaned, halting his movements for a moment.

Clare nodded. "Yes…go faster."

Eli grinned and quickened his pace, thrusting faster and harder.

He moaned at the sensation-he hadn't felt in so long- and thrust as deeply as he could.

Clare became a little sore again but didn't think of asking Eli to slow down because the pleasure she was feeling outweighed everything else.

With each thrust pleasure shot through her, and she grinded her hips into Eli's, their hot, sweaty skin rubbing together. She wanted to close all of the distance between them and get him as deep inside her as she possibly could. The way he moved inside her drove her wild and she could tell it was amazing for him too.

Eli knew he was almost done and he thought Clare was close too.

Her stomach flipped and Eli felt her muscles tighten around him.

Eli thrust hard and deep and tipped Clare into her peak.

"ELI!" She screamed, and let out a series of moans as all the tension in her body released itself and she went numb with pleasure. She saw stars and her head was spinning; it felt so good. She'd never felt that sensation before and it was indescribably pleasurable.

Seeing Clare throw her head back and bite her lip in pleasure sent Eli over the edge and he released, moaning Clare's name loudly as he thrust a few more times, riding out his climax.

He collapsed onto her and whispered her name, kissing her chest. Clare ran her hands through his hair and held his head on her heart beat. They stayed like that for a moment, basking in their orgasms.

Eli could barely move, but he managed to pull out and dispose of the condom only to collapse back on the bed.

Clare smiled. "I paralyzed you." She giggled.

Eli turned to look at her and smiled back.

She scooted herself closer to Eli and he wrapped her into a hug, their naked bodies both still warm and sweaty.

"I love you Clare." He whispered, kissing her messy hair.

"I love you too Eli."

Eli rolled over so he was lying on his back and threw his head back on his pillow; he let out a quiet moan.

"That was incredible. Clare, you were absolutely incredible."

She blushed a little. "Thank you."

Eli turned to look at her again. "Did you think it was good?" He wanted to make sure she didn't have any regrets.

"No." She said, and his face fell.

She smirked then and kissed him on the lips. "I thought it was perfect." She murmured.

Eli sighed in relief. "You scared me Edwards. I thought you regretted it."

She smiled and rest her head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around her.

"It's pretty hard to regret the perfect moment with the perfect person." She said, and Eli beamed down at her.

"You're perfect Clare…I love you."

They'd said it to each other so many times that night but neither of them ever got tired of hearing or saying it.

"I love you too."

They held each other close and sighed with pleasure.

It really was the perfect first time.


	7. Chapter 7

The sun shined through Eli's window an Clare opened her eyes slightly.

She yawned and turned her face a little so she could see Eli, who was still sound asleep with his arms around her.

His body was so warm and his soft bare skin felt good against hers.

As much as Clare wanted to stay where she was for eternity, she had to go to the bathroom so she got up, slipped her panties on and clumsily buttoned Eli's shirt from the night before over her torso.

She looked in the bathroom mirror and was embarrassed to see that her hair was a total mess.

She combed it with her fingers and splashed some water on her face.

She really didn't look any different, and she didn't feel any different either.

She laughed to herself, embarrassed that she half-expected it to be obvious in her appearance that she lost her virginity.

The blush rushed to her cheeks as she thought of the previous night with Eli. It had been so perfect, everything she's ever imagined and more. Not only had it felt amazing physically, but she felt closer to Eli emotionally too. She'd finally given him everything; she'd given him herself. And she felt secure that he would treasure that forever, just like she would.

She walked back into Eli's bedroom and was surprised to see him awake with his boxers back on, holding a breakfast tray.

"Good morning Edwards." He said, and smirked at her startled expression.

"You made me breakfast? Eli, you're the best."

"I know." He said, and smirked.

They sat back down on his bed and Eli spoon fed Clare eggs and chocolate-chip pancakes.

"Eli, I'm a big girl, I can feed myself." Clare argued. "You're making me feel like a baby."

"You are a baby. _My _baby. Now open up." He said, staring at her intently with his mischievous green eyes.

She blushed at how adorable he was being and did as she was told.

After they'd finished eating Clare snuggled onto Eli's chest and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.

"I love you. You look beautiful this morning by the way." Eli murmured as he kissed down her neck.

"Why thank you Goldsworhhy…and I love you too." She said, and shivered a little as Eli began to suck on her skin while his fingers drew lines on her back.

She turned to him and pushed him down onto the bed gently so she was lying on top of him. She ground her hips into his (much more skillfully now) and kissed him, his lips opening to hers immediately as they're tongues fought for dominance.

"Mm…" Clare moaned after the kiss was over, and she looked at Eli through half-lidded eyes.

She had an idea.

"Do you wanna stay in bed all day?" She whispered, running her lips from his neck to his shoulders.

"Hmm…stay in my warm comfortable bed with my beautiful girlfriend who I have great sex with? Nah, I don't think so."

He smirked and laughed as Clare rolled off of him.

He grabbed her wrists and pulled her back towards him so he was spooning her.

"I'm kidding! Of course I do." He whispered into her ear and he bit down slightly on her earlobe, making her moan.

"I never get tired of that sound."

He whispered and Clare giggled. "Oh really?" She murmured, as Eli reached his hands around to her front and began unbuttoning the shirt.

"Yes. So get ready to scream my name."

They giggled together and fell into absolute bliss.

As annoying, sarcastic, and screwed-up Eli could be, Clare would never get tired of him.

And Eli would never stop loving the girl who had saved his life. She was kind, loving, beautiful, smart…

And it wasn't a bad thing that she was in good in bed.

He smirked against her lips and they made love for the second time, both of them completely enamored with the other.


End file.
